Comic transcript
Doris: Hello Broccoli—What is the meaning of life?
Broccoli: Hey Doris, I—Wait, WHAT?
Doris: What do you think the meaning of life is Broccoli?
Broccoli: Is this a… “pop quiz” or something?
Doris: Goodness no! Per our last teatime you expressed a desire to have more “real” conversations. So I am doing away with that frivolous small talk!
Broccoli: Ah. I see…
Doris: So… what is your greatest fear?
Broccoli: Look—We don’t have to talk about stuff like that all the time
Doris: Oh… In that case—how is the weather?
Broccoli: Mmm… very temperate, wouldn’t you say?
Doris: Temperate, yes. I am glad you think so! I agree, of course. Despite it all.
Broccoli: My talk is so small, it’s microscopic!
Doris: It’s subatomic
Broccoli: Say Lady Doris… do you know what day it is?
Doris: It is tuesday
Broccoli: Nothing… noteworthy about this particular tuesday? No cause for celebration?
Doris: What? Did you expect me to throw a party?
Broccoli: I uh… actually did sort of expect that yeah-
Doris: SURPRISE! I threw you a “surprise party”. You sincerely believed I would not throw you a party
Broccoli: You really got me
Doris: I got you!
Broccoli: Happy I Met U Day Doris!
Doris: Likewise
Broccoli: sip WHOA! Peppermint Tea?
Doris: Do you love it?
Broccoli: I LOVE IT! :D
Doris: I am thrilled!
Broccoli: Do you love it?
Doris: … no.
Broccoli: You know… I always thought tea was Polite and Good because it tastes good
Doris: Polite things are Polite whether you like them or not
Broccoli: Why is tea Polite and Good then?
Doris: Why?
Broccoli: Is it good because it is HOT?
Doris: No
Broccoli: Is it good for your health?
Doris: Not really
Broccoli: Is it good because it wakes you up in the morning?
Doris: No
Broccoli: Then why?
Doris: What is it with you and “needing things to have an explanation”?
Broccoli: Look Doris—I know tea is Polite and Good okay? I believe there is a certain… quality that all Polite and Good things possess… But for some reason I cannot describe it
Doris: That is reasonable. The reason you find it difficult to describe… is because Politeness and Goodness are self-evident. Good things are Good because they simply ARE.
Broccoli: Isn’t that, like, circular reasoning?
Doris: And circles are?
Broccoli: The Perfect Shape
Doris: Yes, that’s right!
Broccoli: Well… I believe trying to describe Politeness and Goodness in more worldly terms would be quite useful! Not everyone understands the perfection of circles, you know…
Doris: mmm
Broccoli: Sorry, am I being Impolite right now?
Doris: No no, I think that is a noble pursuit Broccoli. You have my blessing
Broccoli: HOORAY!!! :D I’ve already been writing my own annotations in the Practical Guide to All Things Polite and Good
Doris: Blasphemy… Cute drawings though. Is that me?
Broccoli: That’s uh… That’s kind of an old drawing. Let me show you something a bit more recent. SHABAM!
Doris: I like the first one
Broccoli: Really? I think my current art style is way better. Of course, there’s still plenty of room for improve—
Doris: Show me those “annotations” you speak of
Broccoli: R-Right! Of course. I was confused for a long time about why it was Polite and Good to ask “How is the Weather?” I mean, weather is not very interesting! most of the time… I hardly ever think about it. But… The Weather is something we all experience. No matter who you are. No matter where you are. And so you can talk about it with anyone. And you must talk to people. How else will you know that you are real? How else might they know?
Broccoli: When you meet someone new, you can ask them what they think about The Weather. But you’re not really asking them that. What you mean is… I am here and you are there. I see you and you see me. I want to hear the sound of your voice. So tell me something that is true.
Broccoli: …Did I figure it out?
Doris: mmmmm no. “How is the Weather” actually does not mean all of the things you said. It means “How is the Weather?” Obviously. Also it is perfectly Polite and Good to never talk to anyone else because no one else is real anyway
Broccoli: I see. In that case, I’ll just never talk to you again
Doris: Very funny
Broccoli:
Doris: …Continue to talk to me
Broccoli:
Doris: Please?
Broccoli: You know it’s starting to feel a bit muggy out, you think it’s going to rain?
Doris: Keep reading!
Comments (49)
I love seeing these two actually interact and communicate with each other. Also, Doris was really cute at the end.
Awhhhhhhh doris is so cute in this one (even if she is annoyingly cryptic…)
Also btw I made a Broccoli Soup wiki on fandom! Rn its juts me and one other person so if you have a fandom account plz help out :’)
fandom isn't the best because it's for-profit. i suggest hosting it on another wiki (miraheze is a good one)
Agreed, Miraheze is pretty good
Also, just realized the same episode was posted twice…
Mind giving a link to the wiki I can’t find it!
This sounds most wondrous and polite and good!! I would help if I could but I can't seem to find it either ;-;
heyy, I'm the other person!
Ohhh, hi! I never imagined I'd see YOU here! I mean, for some reason I never thought you'd comment lol :T
despite how strained their relationship is, it was still cute to see doris set up a suprise for broccoli and try to have deeper conversation (no matter how confusing she is) <3 also doris' "please🥺" is so cute hanajksk
on another note it seems like broccoli is adressing doris with honorifics less, instead calling her just "doris" and i think that's interesting
Even Doris has things to learn about being polite and good, it seems. Also GOODNESS that fanart is SPECTACULAR.
it is good and polite
And the apprentice becomes the master.